We're Getting Married
NOVEMBER 23, 2024 | THE OXBOW ESTATE
Your support and love have shaped our lives, and we can't wait to create lasting memories with each and every one of you.
Laura & Andrew
Natalie Cole and a Twinkle of Tinsel
Every life is filled with stories. How those tales are told is up to us. We can start at the beginning. We can start at the end. We can start right smack in the middle. And where those stories finish, or if they come to a close at all, well, that’s up to us, too.
This is how our story begins…
Decembers are cold. Not as cold as they used to be around here, but cold enough, generally, that you don’t want to stand outside, well after sunset, waiting around on someone you’ve never met before.
Don’t worry. She didn’t.
Laura and I met through a dating app. Hinge, to be specific. And I was sick of it. That app. The other apps. The entire dating process in your mid-thirties is just plain dysfunctional. If there are plenty of fish in the sea, then the sea is a churning surf that knocks you down, knocks you down again on the way back up, and is full of decaying vegetation that clings to your shell-scraped body as you crawl, exasperated, back toward the refuge of solid land. That was my experience.
Laura Sheppard, on the other hand, had never been on an online date. She had downloaded the apps, browsed the poor-to-mediocre pool of recent divorcees, late bloomers, and nine-hole, rec-league batters. And then, she would delete the apps for a while. And download them again, eventually sifting through more awkward and unappetizing messages. It was a cycle, and as cycles do, it repeated. There was never a shot worth pulling the trigger for.
By December of 2021, she was getting settled into her new home in Raleigh, after moving back from Texas to be closer to family. She had spent the previous year renovating, crafting every inch of her new home to fit her life perfectly. And her life alone. This place wasn’t designed for a family. It was designed for a woman who had no intention of sharing it. With anyone. Maybe ever.
But at a conference in our nation’s capital, a coworker had insisted she give it one more shot, on Hinge. It was the newest fad in the dating app universe. The match-making community corkboard of modern times that was allegedly “designed to be deleted.” She was too amazing not to share herself with more of the world. And so, with reluctance, she breached the walls of the app store once more. She meticulously curated a photo selection, threw in some witty one-liners and hit the sack. And when she opened it the next day? A match.
That’s me, by the way, in case you hadn’t picked that up. I had messaged her the second we paired. No time to spare with this one, I thought. Her profile included a picture of her lounging on a pool float with the caption “You had to be there.” As a seeker of story, I naturally fell into the trap and asked for the background. It was funnier than I had hoped. How could I not fall for someone who would so unhesitatingly, so ruthlessly kick their innocent, baby nieces off their summer plaything and shamelessly commandeer it for a cheap, dating app photo opportunity? Yes, this was my kind of woman.
I got some laughs out of her that night and I think my intent was to get to know her through a few more genuine conversations before actually asking her out. But something told me the next day that I shouldn’t slow-play this. And I told her that. So, within a couple days of messaging, we had set our first date.
Now, this was December of 2021. The pandemic had been raging for the last two years and although I’d been on some dates, met friends for drinks and eaten out, none of those things had taken place indoors. And I didn’t see any reason why that should start now.
We settled on a Wednesday night meetup at Lynnwood Brewing and Concern. It’s a casual, but comfortable, indoor-outdoor space with plenty of those tall, gas-lit heaters with the tin umbrellas and propane torches fashioned for the intersection of warmth and outdoor recreation. We had agreed to meet outside the front entrance - that’s outside in the classic sense, as in, impossible to misinterpret as inside - then, I figured, we could grab drinks and find a spot under one of these perfectly accommodating heat lamps.
I was early. I usually am. I sat in the car for a minute, and as I started to lift myself out, at five minutes ‘til, a woman emerged from beyond the further vehicles and ascended the ramp out front. “Is that her?,” I wondered. She was facing away and I really couldn’t tell. My gut told me it had to be, and yet, she proceeded all the way indoors, without a second of hesitation and never looked back. So that settled it. Inside. Not outside waiting. Definitely not her.
I zipped my coat, dashed up front and nestled into a cool (but almost certainly less cool than I imagined) pose, giving my best nice-guy-hero-meets-freckle-faced-Fonzy vibes. And I waited. For five long minutes. And then it was time. And then it was past time. And then it was a few minutes past time and I decided it was worth investigating whether the future love of my life had given up on meeting at all, or whether she had simply chosen to renege on our agreed upon terms. As you might imagine, it was the latter (a mode of operation that she exercises fearlessly to this day).
Well, I found her. The green sweater, the lipstick, the bursting eyes. I’ll never forget it. We got our beers (that we hardly touched), and fell into effortless conversation. I asked her on a second date before we’d finished the first drinks. Her response? “Do you want to grab us a second round, first?”
I mentioned that I’d had a birthday about three weeks prior and she said the same. “Oh, gotcha,” I said. “I’m November 13th.” “Me too,” she returned, her tone revealing markedly less curiosity than one would expect. We compared licenses. She wasn’t joking. I had never met another person with the same birthday as me, at least not that I had known, I told her. “Well” she said, “my sister and her husband actually share a birthday, too.” “Ok,” I thought, “now it’s getting weird.”
I asked her if she liked Christmas and she lit up like a tree. I told her how I’d really wanted to ask her on the first date to a Christmas-themed pop-up bar, but held back for fear of coming off a little too festively-invested and all of a sudden, we had set our second date. We talked for three hours and I loved it. I couldn’t believe how perfect she was. I walked her to her car and she told me she’d send her number in the app messenger when she got home. A kiss goodnight, and she was on her way.
I sat in the car, beaming. I don’t watch many romantic comedies, but I felt like I was in one. I plugged in my phone and cranked up the song that was suddenly pounding through me. Natalie Cole’s This Will Be (an Everlasting Love). And I belted it, like the happiest idiot on the road.
When I got home, she had already messaged me. I always saved a date’s number under some moniker that loosely described them based on their interests or our experience; Sarah Tennis, Lilly Dog Park, etc. I didn’t hesitate. I didn’t have to think. There was only one way to save this name. Laura Perfect.
Now, I knew after that very first date that this was the woman I wanted to marry, but Laura wasn’t there yet. That would require a second date.
We met at a bar called the Haymaker that gets itself gussied up for the holidays in brilliant Christmas trim. It was packed. Body to body. Too close for comfort, considering we were still masking. So, after I dazzled her with my knowledge of Dolly Parton quotes and we slurped our yuletide drinks, we were bound for St. Nick’s, the garland-draped, pop-up up across the square, awash in icicle string lights.
We had dressed the part. She in her bedazzled Merry Christmas top and I in my deep red pants and forest green sweater. I had known I wanted to be festive that night, but hadn’t been exactly sure just how far to take it. I had figured the color set would be good enough, but as I opened the door to leave the house earlier that night, I paused. I needed something else. I rushed back inside, up to the tree, and grabbed a single strand of silver tinsel. And into my back pocket it went. Just in case.
Now, at St. Nick’s, after touring the decorated halls, rooms, nooks and selfie-walls, we found seats under an ancient oak on the back deck. She spotted the tinsel and made me wear it like a scarf. This time? We talked for FIVE hours. Unbeknownst to me, she had spent most of that night searching for a sprig of mistletoe to push me under. She never found it, so the conversation had to do. Several months later, she told me that the moment she saw the tinsel, was the moment she knew.
Every great story needs an impressive first chapter. Frankly, I think we nailed this one. And there are already plenty more - Valentine’s Stay, New Orleans, The Proposal. Heck, we’ve been writing for two and a half years now.
These moments are our foundation. We’ll keep building on them, one adventure after another. And we’ve got A LOT more to write, so stay tuned. After all, this will be an everlasting love.
Airport Information
Hotel Block
Recommended Hotel in Downtown Raleigh
RALEIGH MARRIOTT CITY CENTER
500 Fayetteville Street Raleigh, North Carolina 27601
Click the link above to reserve your room at a discounted rate.
Distance to Welcome Party at The Bridge Club: 0.4 miles; 3 minutes by car; 8 minute walk
Distance to Ceremony and Reception at The Oxbow Estate: 21 miles; 37 minutes by car
Addtional Options:
761 Enterprise Dr, Clayton, NC 27520
Distance to Welcome Party at The Bridge Club: 18 miles; 27 minutes by car
Distance to Ceremony and Reception at The Oxbow Estate: 6.4 miles; 18 minutes by car
Transportation
The Oxbow Estate is located 20 miles (30-minute drive) from Raleigh. For our out-of-town guests staying in Raleigh, we recommend booking White Horse Transportation services in advance, as ride-share and taxi services may be limited after the wedding events have ended. Plus, we want you to have a great time and enjoy our wedding!
Your presence at our wedding is the greatest gift, but if you wish to celebrate with a gift, click the link above for our registry.
A Note About Our Wedding China
Our mothers have graciously started our collection of holiday china patterns, some of which are retired and hard to register for, so if you like the thrill of the hunt (like Laura does!), here's an idea of the treasures we seek!
Thanksgiving China - Johnson Brothers His Majesty (Made in England)
- Serving Pieces: Platters, Bowls, Gravy Boat, Egg Plate, etc.
Christmas China - Spode Christmas Tree
-Serving Pieces: Platters, Bowls, Appetizer/Party Trays, etc.
Summer China - Mottahedeh Tobacco Leaf
-Accent Pieces: Salad or Dessert Plates, Cups & Saucers, Small Serving Pieces, etc.
Where do I RSVP?
Don’t leave us wondering…please return the RSVP card sent with the invitation. If we don’t receive your RSVP, we will assume you will not be attending.
What date should I RSVP by?
Please RSVP by October 20. Meeting the RSVP date helps us ensure we have everything for the big day…like a chair for you to sit in or a plate for you to eat from!
Am I allowed to bring a plus one?
To avoid confusion, we’ve included the names of all guests invited, including plus-ones, on the inner envelopes of each wedding invitation.
Are children allowed to attend?
Aunt Laura and Uncle Andrew love our nieces, nephews, and little ones, and we look forward to celebrating with as many as possible. The names of the children invited are included on the inner envelopes of each wedding invitation.
What if I have a dietary restriction?
If you have a severe allergy or dietary restriction, please email us by October 20 with your concerns.
What time is the wedding ceremony?
Our wedding ceremony will begin at 4:00 PM. Plan to arrive 30 to 45 minutes before the ceremony starts to be seated. Immediately following the wedding ceremony, we will host a cocktail hour and reception.
What time will your wedding reception end?
Our reception will conclude at 10:00 PM. The venue will close to all guests at 11:00 PM.
What is the address of the wedding ceremony and reception venue?
The venue’s address is 1603 Hwy 42 Clayton, NC 27527. The property is expansive, so please read and follow the driving instructions below. Do not use Apple Maps, instead use Google Maps.
The property is located off of Highway 42. There are two entrances. Do not take the first entrance. Take the second entrance, marked by a white yard sign with red numbers stating 1603. There is also an Oxbow Estate yard sign. Once you take this second entrance, you will see a gate in front of you and one to your right. Once inside the gate, keep right and follow the signs to the Oxbow Estate.
Is the wheelchair accessible?
The venue is wheelchair-accessible, and golf carts will be available for anyone with limited mobility.
Will your wedding be indoors or outdoors?
The Oxbow Estate is stunning, with rolling hills, river views, and elegant interiors, and we want you to enjoy all the property has to offer. Our wedding ceremony will be held outdoors, immediately followed by a cocktail hour and reception with indoor and outdoor elements. Should the weather threaten to dampen our day, a Plan B is in place to move all events under shelter. There will be some grassy areas, so plan accordingly.
What is the easiest way to get to and from your wedding venue(s)?
We recommend driving or, even better, arranging transportation so you can enjoy our wedding to the fullest!
Is there parking available near your wedding venue?
Parking is available onsite; cars may be left overnight but must be removed by 11:00 AM the following day. We recommend arranging transportation ahead of time, as rideshare and taxi options may be limited at the end of the night.
Will there be a shuttle from the hotel(s)?
Please forgive us because we prioritized a kick-ass venue, band, and caterer, leaving little room in the budget for a hotel shuttle. But we highly recommend White Horse Transportation services!
Have you reserved blocks of rooms at one or more hotels?
For those who wish to stay in the city, we recommend booking at the Marriott City Center. The Comfort Suites in Clayton is the closest hotel to the venue and is “budget-friendly.”
What is the attire for your wedding?
We can’t wait to see you dressed to the nines for our wedding day. We encourage you to wear cocktail or semi-formal attire. There will be some walking on grass therefore, you may want to wear heel protectors or opt for flats, wedges, or block heels to keep from sinking into the grass! Be sure to bring a jacket or shawl, as our wedding and cocktail hour will be outside while the sun sets. Most importantly, don’t forget comfortable dancing shoes!
Will there be an open bar?
Is Johnnie D paying? Hell yes! But please drink responsibly and make sure you have arranged transportation accordingly.
Where are you registered?
We have a registry linked above.
Where should we bring/send our wedding gift?
You can ship gifts to our home at 304 Killington Drive, Raleigh, NC 27609. A wedding card box will be available at our reception.
Am I allowed to take photos at your wedding?
We have opted for an unplugged wedding ceremony, but encourage all the snaps during the cocktail hour and reception!
Can I post wedding photos on social media?
As long as you tag us and use our hashtag #MarryMeHaynes!
Where will wedding updates be posted?
Any updates will be posted here at lauraandandrew.com.